you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
