I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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