The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
