What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
