Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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