Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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