Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
