Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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