By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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