Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
