the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
