I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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