he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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