did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize