Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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