Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
