so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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