why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
