if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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