She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I still have a little drunk in my system
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
