so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just want to make out with him forever
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
