I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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