I wish my penis had an off switch
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
