Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
