I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
