is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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