Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
