A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
