I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
