you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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