do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
