Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
wow bdsm is so cute
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