listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
