this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize