Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
