It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
