well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
