have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Everclear isn't food dammit
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
