we have officially lost it.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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