Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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