glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
