my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize