so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
