Me too!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
