Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
