do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
