i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
