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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  What's this douchebags name?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Rob...

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I have a critically important question to ask.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You made eat vitamins until I threw up

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP

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• (516): View more from New York

  I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Paige is home safe.

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.

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• (786): View more from Florida

  Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?

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• (212): View more from New York

  i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk

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