she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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