But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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