from now on my penis is your penis
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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