therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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