Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
