what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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