the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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