Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
