Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize