Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
