Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You are a genius and a whore.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
